Let’s face it much of our early childhood development is impacted by the way others love, listen, and interact with us. Most of us learn early on in our development to consider what other people say, to listen and then make decisions based on their facial expressions, words, and actions … here’s the problem … as we develop we attempt to figure out how we fit in, how we do, what we do, and what we are as we grow we end up using the reaction and or response of others to determine if we are ‘ok’ and or ‘enough’. ⠀
The issue is many determine their sense of value and worth by what others tell them, show them, act toward them, etc. The problem … many believe that their value is determined by what others think, that your worth and sense of self is maladaptively determined by someone that exists outside fo you, someone that’s external and doesn’t really have the right, space, or ability to determine your value or worth at all … but YOU give it to them, at least that’s what it appears. ⠀
Listen to me! Others don’t determine your value! They determine ONLY what they think, period. What they think doesn’t matter. You determine what you think, what you believe, what you will and won’t listen too. If you want to change this you need to stop the inner noise, the noise your mind generates by repeating the negative statements and experiences that often are assimilated into our core beliefs. As you challenge and find exceptions to the things ‘others’ have tried to pin on you you’ll find space to then think better, and ultimately feel better.
Your self-worth is not determined by the perception of others. What others think of you is filtered by their own dream, their own bias, their own views, their own judgement. Only YOU determine your worth and value.
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Justin Stum, MS LMFT, 640 E. 700 S., Suite 205B, St. George Utah 84770, 435-574-9193, https://www.justinstum.com