Look Where You Want To Go : Keep Showing Up!
She did 31 full Ironman’s before she won one of them. She won the Ultraman 6.2 mile swim, 260 mile bike, and double marathon 52.4 mile run, she is Hillary Biscay. “Look where you want to go, keep showing up … you’ll […]
Overcoming Depression : Finding Hope
Today I reflect back to the media attention and awareness created by the tragic loss of actor Robin Williams, one of the most remembered actors of all time. His passing created a significant discussion around mental health in America. I think of one of his films, Goodwill Hunting, albeit intense, is one of my personal […]
Telling Your Story: Finding Wholeness & Meaning
Our memories from the past and the stories we tell are the threads that make up the tapestry of our lives and give our existence meaning. Millions of moments, all stitched together one thread at a time, form a large mosaic we call our life. Each person is weaving their own story, their own narrative. Each […]
Not Just Friends: Emotional Affairs and Infidelity
Overly friendly e-mails. Txts messages that are ‘off record’. Hidden Facebook dialogues. Just friends, right? No, there’s not sex, but these relationships damage marriages and are a slippery slope. Is it infidelity? You bet it is. Traditionally, the work environment has provided the most ideal context and potential for extramarital affairs. But, old flames or […]
Do I Have A Pornography Problem?
I was talking recently with a few friends about my role as a therapist and the general nature of the difficulties that people present with. One of the questions they asked was how I as a therapist assess and measure whether or not a client is dabbling in pornography or addicted to pornography. I replied […]
What Is It Most Women Really Want?
Many of my clients, both men and women, come to counseling seeking understanding and curbing of symptoms in their marriages and/or families. Most have their own stories, own perceptions, and own histories. Human beings are complex individuals with relationship histories and pasts that make each one of us all our own. As I have worked with […]
Helicopter Grandparenting: When Helping Becomes Hovering and Harming
I recently had a couple in my office for a variety of issues. We initially started to dialogue and generate some solutions concerning some significant problems they were facing. Their problem began long before their marriage, as I will explain, but had become an acute issue that was taxing their relationship and marriage as well […]
Sexual Addiction & Brain Arousal – Neurobiology of Internet Porn
I’ve seen a consistent theme with clients that present to my office with sexual addiction. This theme is a significant confusion about how they get their needs met. I find that many if not all of them come with beliefs and assumptions due to their addiction and history. These assumptions are in large part due […]
Emotional Codependency in Marriage and Parenting Relationships
Codependency has typically been associated or understood to be a dynamic that occurs with individuals that are addicted to substances and their partners or spouses. Today the phenomenon we call codependency can be associated with those that are in fact not using substances of any kind. Mothers and children, husbands and wives, friends and associates […]
Thoughts on Abating Anxiety, OCD & Stress
Anxiety and stress can be pervasive and wear on ones emotions as well as your body. Anxiety can manifest itself in a variety of manners, many of which are somatic, meaning in the body. It creates a chain reaction with symptoms of stomach pain, shakes, sweat, sleep difficulty, and fatigue. Most often anxiety can effectively […]