We live in a world that thrives on instant gratification. The prevalence of mobile devices and tablets provides a forum of content on demand. Unfortunately, although we have a plethora of facts at our fingertips with our trusty smart phones, the answers to our complex social questions and emotional quandaries are not always so instantaneous. As…
She did 31 full Ironman’s before she won one of them. She won the Ultraman 6.2 mile swim, 260 mile bike, and double marathon 52.4 mile run, she is Hillary Biscay. “Look where you want to go, keep showing up … you’ll…
Today I reflect back to the media attention and awareness created by the tragic loss of actor Robin Williams, one of the most remembered actors of all time. His passing created a significant discussion around mental health in America. I think of one of his films, Goodwill Hunting, albeit intense, is one of my personal…
Our memories from the past and the stories we tell are the threads that make up the tapestry of our lives and give our existence meaning. Millions of moments, all stitched together one thread at a time, form a large mosaic we call our life. Each person is weaving their own story, their own narrative. Each…
Overly friendly e-mails. Txts messages that are ‘off record’. Hidden Facebook dialogues. Just friends, right? No, there’s not sex, but these relationships damage marriages and are a slippery slope. Is it infidelity? You bet it is. Traditionally, the work environment has provided the most ideal context and potential for extramarital affairs. But, old flames or…
I was talking recently with a few friends about my role as a therapist and the general nature of the difficulties that people present with. One of the questions they asked was how I as a therapist assess and measure whether or not a client is dabbling in pornography or addicted to pornography. I replied…
Many of my clients, both men and women, come to counseling seeking understanding and curbing of symptoms in their marriages and/or families. Most have their own stories, own perceptions, and own histories. Human beings are complex individuals with relationship histories and pasts that make each one of us all our own. As I have worked with…
I recently had a couple in my office for a variety of issues. We initially started to dialogue and generate some solutions concerning some significant problems they were facing. Their problem began long before their marriage, as I will explain, but had become an acute issue that was taxing their relationship and marriage as well…
I’ve seen a consistent theme with clients that present to my office with sexual addiction. This theme is a significant confusion about how they get their needs met. I find that many if not all of them come with beliefs and assumptions due to their addiction and history. These assumptions are in large part due to their…
Codependency has typically been associated or understood to be a dynamic that occurs with individuals that are addicted to substances and their partners or spouses. Today the phenomenon we call codependency can be associated with those that are in fact not using substances of any kind. Mothers and children, husbands and wives, friends and associates…