Relationships and Perception: Are You Sure?
I work with individuals and couples weekly that seek help in my office for relationship challenges. Some arrive due to issues of trust and infidelity while others are seeking answers to issues that stem from their families they grew up in. Most individuals, healthy or not, seem to battle or engage in a phenomenon that […]
Infidelity: Marriage Meltdown After An Affair
When Betrayal Breaks the Bond I recently heard a client ask, “I feel completely betrayed after finding out about my husband’s affair. Does it even make sense to do counseling if my spouse had an affair? Isn’t it over?” Betrayal and broken trust are among the most difficult obstacles any couple can face, and they […]
Strengthening Relationships Through Family Traditions and Rituals
With the holiday season approaching, countless events become abuzz with holiday parties, church and social events, and family dinners typical for the season. These events serve many purposes and when understood more clearly enhance, solidify, and safeguard your relationships and overall emotional health. Rituals are activities that couples and families create that occur on a […]
Recovering Your Identity
The term identity is one commonly used by developmental psychologists and researchers when referencing an individuals sense of ‘differentness’ or ‘likeness’ with others. Ones identity is often tossed around with terms like ego strength, self-esteem, individuality, etc. Many individuals find that they need to ‘send’ or ‘broadcast’ a given set of values or beliefs in […]
Accountability, Responsibility, and Freedom : Maturity With Developing Adolescents
Teenagers bring with them a capacity to risk and explore their world similar to when they were toddlers. The difficulty is, most teens want the freedom of egocentric curious toddlers without the responsibility they need to bear as they are approaching young adulthood. Parents hope that as their son or daughter matures, he or she will […]
Boundaries: What They Are and How to Create Them
Boundaries are unwritten and unspoken lines that mark where you begin and end in relation to where others begin and end emotionally and physically. For example, we have clothing as a boundary not only to protect our skin but as a physical cue and symbol that you are you and that is where you begin. […]
How Do I Know If I Need Couples or Marriage Counseling?
Often individuals feel they may be candidates for counseling but are not sure and don’t want to make things worse. I have had many clients that reported being worried prior to coming in for counseling that they might make things worse if they stirred things up and spoke out about their marriage and the issues […]
Social Anxiety During The Holidays
The holidays are filled with gatherings, work parties, socials, and church events … all activities typically enjoyed by most people. For some though, they are not events that bring nostalgia and excitement. Individuals that suffer and deal with social anxiety find these events troubling and more of a chore than a longed-for reunion with family […]
Insecurity: The Fuel of Relational Conflict
One of the core components of reactivity and defensiveness is personal insecurity. I work with individuals that often share how family or friends are often reactive relative to them. The difficulty with defensive individuals is that they feel they are just protecting themselves from another, that their defensiveness with their spouse or teen or coworker […]
My Spouse Won’t Come To Counseling, Now What?
Often when relationships are conflicted or distant one member of the relationship recommends counseling as a part of conversation, usually when things are loaded and a feud is underway. It is not uncommon for one spouse to be ready and the other resists or balks at the request. The layman’s assumption is that counseling needs […]